I recently read a great quote from psychologist Carl Jung, he said, “We don’t solve our problems, we outgrow them.” As I reflected upon this, I realize how often our attention is spent on trying to solve our problems, instead of developing as a person & outgrowing them. No wonder the problems we obsess on “solving” seem to linger on and on.

And let’s face it-we all have problems. Some big, some small. Some important, some decidedly less so.

The truth is many of the greatest obstacles we face in life, cannot be solved. We must live through them and make it through to the other side, often without solving what troubled us in the first place.

Often times major life events help because they put things in perspective–forcing us to reevaluate our priorities, our plans, sometimes even ourselves. Given this time for introspection, we often realize many of our problems are not problems at all. A mindset shift can work wonders on many “problems” we face in life (why I love CBT!)

Yet one can see, when you spend too much time talking and focusing on the problem (or “ruminating” to use psychology jargon), you get too caught up, and it will be quite hard for you to detach from them, and see the big picture. You will start seeing your problems as being bigger than yourself, bigger than your ability to cope, and you will be overwhelmed; you will have a hard time finding your way out; you will have a hard time outgrowing your problems, and chances are, that you will be outgrown by them.

So stop trying to “solve” your problems. Stop trying to think your way to a solution. Some things in life just need to be lived and eventually, you may find the answer you were looking for along the way.